Sunday, April 13, 2014

The Storm

This past fall/winter Mat and I took a much needed cruise to the Caribbean just the two of us.  We prepared to leave with the usual list,  carefully packing each kid's suitcase, outlining the kid's activities and carpool, cleaning the house, outlining work, etc.  The day we left for our cruise was the Friday following Thanksgiving and we had spent it watching Easton's soccer tournament in lovely 65 degree weather.  We were almost sad to leave as we knew the weather wouldn't sustain that temp for much longer.

Halfway through our cruise we stopped off in Curacao and found a wifi spot.  Anxious to be able to checkin with the kids we took a break and accessed the internet for a bit.  The imessaging was understandably taking a bit longer than usual so while waiting for replies I checked the weather in Santa Clara.  I commented to Mat that my phone must've switched to celsius because the temps were far lower than typical of Southern Utah.  The kids had messaged indicating that my phone hadn't changed and was giving me a correct forecast of the weather at home.  My first thought was that I had only packed light jackets for the kids and that they would certainly need access to some winter coats.  Mat made arrangements for the main water line to the house to be shut off as we hadn't insulated anything before our departure. 

As we embarked from our cruise we laughed as many pictures and videos were being sent from home of our kids in a winter wonderland.  Not only were the temps significantly below normal but Southern Utah had been blanketed in snow!  We laughed and returned the messages with pictures of us smiling in the 88 degree Florida sunshine.

At lunch that day Mat was watching the news screens and asked if we had a layover in Dallas like we did on the way there.  I said that we had a direct flight into Las Vegas and should be home about 1:00am.  He was relieved as Dallas had cancelled 2,500 flights due to ice on the runway.

As our flight arrived in Las Vegas we received word that the freeway was closed on the way home leaving only one other access to our house.  Our brother in law was on a flight ahead of us and said the highway we were looking at was icy but if we were cautious we would be ok.  Anxious to get home because we hadn't arranged for an adult to sleep at our house thinking we were getting home at 1:00am we were grateful there was an option for us.  After a very cautious drive home we pulled into a snow covered town at 3:30.  It was beautiful.  The last flakes had fallen and the sky was clear.  We had never seen that much snow in our corner of the world.

When the sun arose we saw how much snow had been dumped and were happy that igloos and forts had been built and our kids got a taste of snow for a day because that's how snow falls in Southern Utah.  It snows for a day and is melted by the next...

Not this time.

Our driveway took weeks to melt.  The streets and sidewalks remained quite dangerous for a while as no one really owned the proper equipment to remove snow and it was Southern Utah after all so it would just melt...

The palms around town were weighted heavily with ice.  Mat and I chuckled thinking the nurseries would certainly love spring.  It didn't even dawn us that OUR yard had been impacted by the freeze.  After the snow finally melted we realized not only had our yard been affected but it appeared that MANY of our our plants had been lost. 

I'm a yard fanatic.  I mow sometimes twice a week just because I love a well kept yard.  We didn't pay anyone to landscape and every plant, tree, and flower, had been put their by our hands and cared for by us.  We have spent HOURS creating our dream backyard and it looked AWFUL!!! 

It took me a few weeks before I could bring myself to see if there was any life left in the plants.  When I finally did I was sick.  It appeared that the majority of our plants had been lost in the freeze and the thought of the time, money, and effort it would take to get it back was overwhelming!  We limited ourselves to making minor improvements each year and not only would this push our spring plans back but I didn't know how we would even be able to afford to fix the damage that was there.  We just stopped thinking about the yard.  We didn't go into our backyard and tried to think of what we were facing. 

Finally we decided it was time to make SOME progress on it.  Mat called our friend that landscapes professionally and relayed back to me that we may not have to replace our plants!  Our friend suggested that there WAS life in them but we needed to trim them back.  I was weary to say the least and actually thought I knew better than the professional because the plants WERE DEAD! Mat set aside the trimming and decided a saw would suit our needs better and went crazy sawing limbs off every tree and bush we owned.  

The yard looked somewhat better after being cleaned up from all of the fallen leaves and debris that had been hidden in the snow, but it also made me sick to look at.  It looked bald and still looked dead.  Mat had cut everything back to almost stumps.  Where the tough, brittle bark hadn't grown leaves or new branches for years.  He said "Give it time, they will leaf out".  RIGHT...

In February the sun started coming out more and more and I would just look at my yard in disappointment as it was ALWAYS so pretty in February... "Give it time...it will leaf out and green up," Mat kept saying.

Early into March we began to see our trees begin to bud.  Happy that we at the very least still had them I relished their buds.  They were beautiful.  Maybe there was hope for spring after all.

We took to the beach mid-March for spring break and were very surprised when we came home to buds on some of the plants!  Humble and happy that I had been wrong there was new growth!  Growth where there hadn't been since the plants were put in the ground years ago! The stubs hadn't been growing leafs because they hadn't seen the sun being covered by the new leaves each year.  It was AMAZING!!!

There were plants that we hadn't got around to trimming and they still looked sad but there was hope which was an amazing thing.

It's now Mid-April and our yard is flourishing!  I am shocked at our strong our roots must've been and extremely happy we spent the time throughout the years tending to our yard as we have.  We have TWO pomegranate trees that have not leafed out but Mat has assured me that he believes there is life in them still but they weren't cut back far enough.  We probably won't get fruit from them this summer but the roots are strong!

Here's the thing about me sharing this:  Mat and I have had a wonderful marriage.  Ideal in MANY ways.  Like the week we returned home from a gorgeous cruise in the sunshine to the stark contrast of the ice/snow storm we were caught off guard with a wrench that made our life together feel dead.

I had nourished and tended to our marriage and was sick that with all of our efforts it was dead. I thought the time and effort we had both put into it had made it great and indestructible.

It wasn't.

Of course our marriage was something neither of us wanted to throw away but by all appearances it was gone.

I loved Mat, he loved me.  Neither of us wanted to it to end but we couldn't seem to find a way out of the shade and into the sunshine.  Money intake had certainly been affected (which didn't help) by the aftermath of the storm our marriage was facing and things overall looked VERY bleak.

It was tough.

We started cutting out the dead and frozen over parts of our marriage and home life. THAT was tough! We had to BOTH sacrifice so much that we held dear in the hopes that doing away with it would expose strong healthy roots.  Work HAD to be second priority (which as I mentioned before finances weren't exactly what we were used to living off).  Personal attachments were one of the most difficult things to break away from.  Things that from the outside seemed harmless and in many ways should be good and healthy but for us and our marriage they weren't.

We kept cutting out and cutting out.

It's been a year and a half since the storm that came out of nowhere hit us.  What seemed dark and unfixable is bright and wonderful.  We cut deep and found the precious roots that hadn't seen the sunshine in far too long.  New growth is everywhere.  It is amazing!


 I share this with much trepidation as I'm clearly saying to the world..."We are NOT perfect" and it's not always an easy thing to expose to the world.  I have felt a strong need to share however.  I know MANY friends and loved ones each experiencing their own storms in life that feel unrecoverable.  Things that don't feel fair and weigh us down to where we feel like we can't take anymore.


If I've learned anything from the storm I truly thought I was ready for that shifted our lives upside down is that as long as there are strong living roots new life can grow.   It's not easy to start cutting away at all of the things you want so badly to hold onto and have cherished for so long but once you find the roots and find expose the core to the light that it needs our lives can flourish in ways we didn't know were possible.

The leaves are a darker, richer green.  The plants have so many more ways to grow.


Monday, April 7, 2014

Top ten things we love about Easton...

 Easton is an amazing kid who yesterday officially turned 11! So here's our top ten favorite things about my baby boy.
10.  Easton is giving. While he can be a tad stingy he really wants his brother and sisters to feel loved. 

9. He's happy.  Easton finds the joy in life as evidenced by the big smile he always wears.

8. Easton is a hard worker.  Once Easton decides to dig in on a project whether it be school or chore related he works hard.  He has to work harder at school than most kids and he really tries his best.
 7.  Easton is funny.  He always has a great joke or story to tell.

6. Easton is friendly.  He has a huge variety of friends at school and in the neighborhood.  He is always up for a party.

5.  Easton is handsome.  I mean, look at him.
 4. Easton is smart.  The gears turn in his head quicker than he can sort them out sometimes but he is great at math, science, and is becoming a great reader.

3.  Easton loves animals.  He has such a tender heart and animals hold a special spot in it.
 2. Easton is strong.  Strong both physically and mentally.  He has a strong will that we believe will help him to accomplish great things in his life.  He is also just plain tough.
1.  Easton is amazing.  Plain and simple, we love everything about him and feel it a privilege to have him in our family.